*This post is brought to you by UPS*
Why UPS? Well, there are two things that I should be doing right now. One is grocery shopping, and the other is sleeping. But, because I am awaiting the delivery of my shiny new vacuum cleaner, and because I know that UPS will not leave it here without a signature... I have to stay home and I have to stay awake. Technically, there is a third thing that I could be doing and that is working on my grilling class for Sunday. But, I've got 3 more days to put that off!
ANYWAY, because it has been months since my last post, I decided to focus on the biggest change around here since my last post. After being a stay-at-home Mom since February of 2005, I have started working (some) days again because my baby boy is now attending school full time. That's right. I am now without children all day, all week.
Yes, it has been 4 months since this change, but I am still not used to it. When I'm out and about during the day I always feel like I'm forgetting something, like I should be holding onto something with my free hand. Or I'll remember that I didn't pack a snack and then realize that I didn't need to pack one for just me. The absence of kids in my day to day life still seems huge.
In the beginning, everyone kept telling me that, OK, I'd miss them at first, but then I'd find all this free time. And after a while I'd realize how nice it actually is to have both kids in school. But, even now, I still miss them a ton and somehow, I have no free time during the day at all. Because my schedule at work has opened up, I have more responsibilities. It seems that conference calls, errands, and class organizing has sucked up any free time that I might have otherwise had.
However, I am still only working part-time. And now that I can do more work during the day, I can spend more evenings with my family. Before, I would get to eat dinner with J and the kids maybe twice a week. But now it's more like four or five times a week. So, although I'm spending much less time with Matthew, I'm spending more time with the entire family.
Embry still complains regularly that I work too much, which hurts every time she says it. I just calmly try to explain to her that, "Mama has to work so that you can go to school." She loves school, so this explanation seems to satisfy her... until the next day when she complains again. (I don't know where she get this constant complaining stuff from. It must have skipped a generation.)
So, despite feeling like I've had my children ripped from my arms at way too young an age, I know that these changes are good for everyone. More responsibility at work means that despite being one of the newest people there, I won't be the first one fired if they have to cut payroll. Matthew loves school (more details about this in a separate post), and is making great strides socially and with his speech delay. And I'm sure that J is thrilled that he doesn't have to make dinner and put the kids to bed by himself every night. Winners all around!
(But I still miss my babies.)