Yes, alone. J took the kids to Grandma's this weekend, so it's just me at home, by myself. A very weird feeling since I have not been away from all three of them (J and the kids) since we've been married. J and I have had one weekend to ourselves since Embry was born which was great, and I've spent a few days with the kids alone while J was away for work, but never just me.
When they first left yesterday afternoon, I really didn't know what to do with myself. I cleaned up the house a little, but it just seemed too quiet. So, I decided to go get a pedicure. It helped me to relax a little, but when I returned to the way too quiet house, it still didn't feel right. I did get to sleep in, a rare luxury for me. I got a haircut this morning (always a risk going to a new stylist for the first time, especially when you are as picky about your hair as I am, but it turned out great) and then spent the rest of the day at the mall. It was really nice to be able to shop for shoes and clothes without having to spend the day in toy stores or in Cabella's looking at the fish. But every time I saw someone pushing a stroller I felt a twinge in my stomach (even if the kid in that stroller was throwing a screaming fit :)
So tonight I am cozied up in our bedroom, which I realized I almost never do. Probably because our room is right next to Matthew's room and we are always trying to be quiet when he's asleep. I've got my laptop, my Chinese takeout (my new favorite is broccoli and bean curd), and the TiVo'd bronze medal tennis match between, my favorite, Novak Djokovic and American James Blake. I feel kind of bad that I'm not routing for the U.S. By the way, as if I couldn't love my TiVo any more, it has been the best way to watch the Olympics. It records 15 hours a day of all kinds of sports that no one ever pays attention to like women's weight lifting, doubles table tennis, fencing, cycling, synchronized swimming, etc. They never show that stuff in the prime time coverage, so I actually get to watch the sports I'm interested in ant not just the ones that everyone else likes. OK, end of TiVo commercial.
So, I will try to enjoy my last night of freedom and force myself to stay in bed a little longer tomorrow morning, but I will be counting down the minutes until I get to hug my husband and my kids again late tomorrow afternoon.